Frequently Asked Questions About Building Habits
As you start on this journey, questions will naturally arise. Here are answers to some of the most common ones, grounded in the principles of habit science and a realistic understanding of human behavior.
How long does it really take to form a new habit?
You’ve probably heard the “21 days” myth. While it’s a catchy number, it’s not based on robust science. A more famous study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology found that, on average, it takes about 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic. However, the most important finding was the variability. For some participants, a habit stuck in as little as 18 days, while for others, it took as long as 254 days. The time it takes depends on the person, the behavior, and the circumstances. Instead of focusing on a magic number, focus on consistency. The goal isn’t to reach a finish line; the goal is to keep showing up. The habit is formed when you no longer have to think about it, not when you hit a certain day on the calendar.
What should I do when I travel or my routine is disrupted?
Disruptions are a major test for any habit. The key is to lower your expectations and focus on your Minimum Viable Action (MVA). If your habit is to go for a 30-minute run every morning, that might be impossible on a travel day. Don’t abandon it completely. Instead, perform the MVA. Do two minutes of jumping jacks in your hotel room. If your habit is to write 500 words, write one sentence on your phone. The goal during disruption is not to make progress but to maintain the thread of identity. You are reminding yourself, “I am still a person who moves their body” or “I am still a writer.” This makes it infinitely easier to ramp back up to your normal routine when you return home.
I’m getting bored with my habit. How do I stay engaged?
Plateaus and boredom are normal. It often means you’ve mastered the current level of your habit and are ready for a new challenge. This is where you can introduce the concept of “progressive overload,” borrowed from weightlifting. You make the habit slightly more challenging. If you’ve been meditating for five minutes, try for seven. If you’ve been reading one page, try for ten. You can also introduce novelty. If you run the same route every day, explore a new park. If you’ve been journaling in the same way, try a new prompt. Finally, reconnect with your “why.” Revisit the identity you are trying to build. Remind yourself of the long-term benefits and why you started in the first place. Sometimes, linking a boring habit to a deeply held value is all the motivation you need.
Can I build multiple new habits at the same time?
While it’s tempting to overhaul your life all at once, it’s generally a recipe for failure. As we’ve discussed, self-regulation and decision-making are finite resources. Trying to build several new, effortful habits simultaneously spreads your energy too thin. The consensus among behavior change experts, supported by research from organizations like the American Psychological Association (APA), is to start with one. Pick a single, high-impact “keystone habit”—a habit that tends to cause a chain reaction of other positive changes (exercise is a classic example). Focus all your design efforts on making that one habit stick. Once it becomes automatic and requires little to no conscious effort, you can then move on to designing the next one.
What’s the difference between a habit and a goal?
This is a crucial distinction. A goal is a finite outcome you want to achieve: run a marathon, write a book, lose 15 pounds. A habit is a repeatable system or process you follow: run three times a week, write every morning, eat a vegetable with every meal. Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are what make progress. You don’t have direct control over achieving a goal (you could get injured before the marathon), but you have 100% control over executing your system (showing up for your runs). The great paradox is that if you want to achieve your goals, you should forget about them and focus entirely on your habits. By committing to the process, the results will eventually take care of themselves.
