Frequently Asked Questions About Building a Meditation Habit
As you begin this journey, questions will naturally arise. Here are answers to some of the most common ones, grounded in the gentle, realistic approach we’ve discussed.
How long does it really take to form a meditation habit?
You may have heard the popular myth that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. While it’s a nice, simple number, research shows it’s not accurate. Studies have found that the time it takes for a new behavior to become automatic can range from 18 days to as long as 254 days. The average is closer to 66 days. The key takeaway is that it varies wildly depending on the person, the complexity of the habit, and the consistency of the practice. Instead of fixating on a magic number, focus on the process. Concentrate on not missing twice and on casting a vote for your new identity each day. The habit will become automatic when it becomes automatic. Your job is simply to keep showing up.
What should I do on days when I’m traveling or sick?
This is where your minimum viable action (MVA) becomes your superpower. The beauty of an MVA like “take one conscious breath” is that you can do it anywhere, anytime. If you’re on a plane, you can do it in your seat. If you’re sick in bed, you can do it while lying down. On these disruptive days, your goal is not to have a perfect, serene meditation session. Your goal is to maintain the thread of consistency. By performing your MVA, you are reminding your brain that this is part of who you are, even when your routine is completely upended. This keeps the habit alive and makes it much easier to return to your regular practice once things are back to normal.
My mind is so busy and I feel like I’m failing. What can I do?
Welcome to the human experience! This is perhaps the most common misconception about meditation. The goal of meditation is not to stop your thoughts or to have a perfectly empty mind. That’s impossible. The goal is to notice your thoughts without getting swept away by them. The practice is in the gentle act of returning. Each time you notice your mind has wandered and you gently guide your attention back to your breath or your body, that is a moment of successful meditation. Think of it as a bicep curl for your attention muscle. The “failure” of getting distracted is actually the opportunity to practice. So, when you notice your busy mind, you can silently say “thinking” and, with self-compassion, return. You are doing it exactly right.
I’ve been consistent for a while, but I feel like I’ve hit a plateau. How can I go deeper?
Plateaus are a normal part of any skill development. First, acknowledge the amazing work you’ve done to build a consistent practice. If you feel ready to go deeper, you can make a small, gentle adjustment. This could mean adding one minute to your session for a week. Or you could try a different style of meditation—if you’ve been doing a breath-focused practice, maybe try a loving-kindness meditation or a body scan. The key is to make only one small change at a time and see how it feels. Don’t overhaul your entire routine. Just as you started with a tiny action, you should grow your practice with tiny, sustainable increments. The journey of mindfulness is a marathon, not a sprint, and its benefits are often cumulative, supported by a wealth of research from institutions like the National Institutes of Health.
Is it a good idea to try to build other new habits at the same time?
While it’s tempting to overhaul your life all at once, it’s generally more effective to focus on one key habit at a time. As we’ve discussed, even a small habit requires mental energy to establish. By focusing all your design efforts on your meditation practice for the first 30 to 60 days, you give it the best possible chance to stick. Once your meditation habit starts to feel more automatic—meaning you do it without much internal debate or resistance—you can then use that success as a foundation. You can even use habit stacking to chain a new habit onto your now-established meditation practice, for example: “After I finish my meditation, I will write in my journal for one minute.” Build your habits one by one, like stacking stones, to create a stable and lasting structure.
