Frequently Asked Questions About Building a Nightly Routine
As you embark on this journey, questions will naturally arise. Here are answers to some of the most common ones we hear from our community at TheFocusedMethod.com.
How long does it really take to build a new habit?
The popular myth is that it takes 21 days to form a habit. While a catchy idea, research has shown this to be a significant oversimplification. A study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology found that, on average, it takes about 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic. However, the range was enormous, from 18 days to 254 days. The time it takes depends on the complexity of the habit, your environment, and your consistency. The takeaway? Don’t fixate on a magic number. Focus on the process of showing up each day, performing your minimum viable action, and trusting that automaticity will come with repetition. The goal isn’t to reach a finish line; it’s to build a system that can run for a lifetime.
What should I do on travel days, sick days, or holidays?
This is where the principles of the minimum viable action and the “if-then” plan are your best friends. The goal on disrupted days is not perfection; it’s preservation. You want to keep the thread of the habit alive, even if barely. If your evening routine involves journaling and reading, your travel version might be to think of one thing you’re grateful for and read one paragraph on your phone. If you’re sick, perhaps your only action is to take one deep, mindful breath before you fall asleep. By scaling the habit down to its absolute essence, you maintain the psychological link and make it infinitely easier to ramp back up to your normal routine when life returns to normal. Remember the rule: never miss twice.
I was doing great, but now I’ve hit a plateau. What’s wrong?
Plateaus are a normal and expected part of any growth process. They don’t mean you’re failing; they mean you’re ready for a new, small challenge. A habit loop can sometimes lose its power if the reward becomes stale. If your routine feels boring, it might be time to introduce some novelty. If you read every night, try a different genre of book. If you do a quick tidy, try organizing a single drawer you’ve been ignoring. Another strategy is to slightly increase the difficulty of your minimum viable action. If you’ve been writing one sentence, try writing three. If you’ve been meditating for one minute, try for two. The key is to make a small, 1% improvement that keeps you engaged without feeling overwhelming.
Can I try to build multiple new habits for my evening routine at once?
It’s tempting to overhaul everything at once, but this is usually a recipe for burnout. Your self-control and decision-making energy are finite. A better approach is to start with one single, “keystone” habit—a habit that naturally creates a ripple effect of other positive changes. For a nightly routine, a great keystone habit is putting your phone away an hour before bed. This single action can naturally lead to more reading, better conversations, and improved sleep. Once that first habit feels automatic, you can use habit stacking to add a second small habit onto it. Start small, be patient, and let your success build on itself.
